Why does the state sanction marriages?

It is hard to deny that there are many advantages to married life. Studies have shown that married people live happier, healthier, and wealthier lives, as do their children. Add to these benefits the good things that society bestows on those who choose to marry: social status, retirement benefits, sharing of property, favorable tax treatment, and more. Although there are some economic disadvantages and responsibilities as well, there is no shortage of people who are willing to commit themselves to marriage.

Why is the state willing to absorb the cost of conferring these benefits? You can be sure such an arrangement didn't arise out of pure kindness. Setting aside the direct benefits to the marriage partners, how does society benefit from promoting monogamous marriages?

Placing the enforcement power of the state behind the organization of society into monogamous family units is advantageous to society as it reduces mating conflicts. For instance, state-enforced monogamy curbs domination by stronger males, including any tendency toward polygamy. Also, since they can count on the state's help in keeping outsiders from violating the exclusivity of marital relations, both spouse are free to pursue employment, invention, education, and other activities outside the home. Intact marriages present a positive role model for others that society is also happy to support. Further, to the extent that divorce is made difficult, state sanctioned marriage increases the stability of families, which are the primary building blocks of society.

There are still more benefits to society that compensate for the costs of sanctioning marriages. People in committed relationships are less sexually promiscuous and suffer from fewer of promiscuity's negative effects. Men in particular are civilized by marriage and married men have improved relationships with their children,. For both men and women, marriage reinforces the parental instinct. This protects society from the cost of providing for children, including the costs of higher levels of a variety of social ills that children experience when they aren't in intact families. Women (and some men) who forgo careers outside the home receive economic protection from the rules surrounding state-sanctioned marriage. This was especially true when many women stayed home to raise their children.

Finally, stable families have proven to be a critical element in maximizing human fecundity. A healthy society supports its future generations. We see the negative effects of low birth rates in many European countries today.

Is the cost-benefit equation similar for same-sex couples? Hardly. Same-sex couples are far more promiscuous than heterosexual married couples. For example, many studies show that gay men do not maintain fidelity even when they are in committed relationships. There is talk of “monogamy without fidelity” among gay men. Other studies suggest that for gay men, after a period of moving from partner to partner, satisfaction begins to require riskier and riskier practices beyond the novelty of a new partner. It would be hard to argue in the face of these studies that same sex marriage civilizes men or reduces promiscuity. There is little to suggest that same-sex marriage reduces mating conflicts, frees gay couples from fear of infidelity, or unless it is truly monogamous, presents a positive role model for others or a building block that society is happy to support. As for children, statistically speaking it is rare for same-sex couples to have children. Increasing support for same-sex marriages certainly doesn't maximize human reproduction.

However, it is true that if same-sex couples can be shown to stay together, each partner will gain the kind of economic protections currently provided to stay-at-home spouses. All in all, there would seem to be little benefit to society in sanctioning same-sex marriage that couldn't be provided through various contract arrangements.

Instead of claiming that there is widespread discrimination and prejudice when polls show little support for same-sex marriage, the above factors should be considered. Voters favor traditional values even when they haven't spent the time to do their own social analysis. Most of the time, that is not a bad thing.